HOW TO FEEL A SENSE OF PURPOSE [WISE WEDNESDAYS]

Another earthquake hit Japan this month. It’s exactly 10 years since the fourth most powerful earthquake ever recorded launched a Tsunami on the same area of Japan, led to the Fukushima nuclear disaster and took almost 20,000 lives, overnight.

A survivor in a documentary I watched last weekend tells of how he recovered his daughter’s body, and that only his uncle’s body was missing now. If they find his then they’ll have recovered the 15 members of his family who perished.

I remember visiting the East Coast of Japan after the devastating tsunami, near the city of Sendai while working on the UN Disaster Risk Reduction framework. My colleagues took photos of the ingenious anti-tsunami defences that were being built. 

It felt eerie, as if the full impact of what had happened was just beyond my grasp. It wasn’t the first time I’d been exposed to tragedy through work. But a part of me decided it was best not to feel into it fully to avoid overwhelm while on a work assignment.

This is the kind of detachment I perfected through medical training. It was the only way to reconcile the level of human distress that inhabits hospitals – the world really - with a commitment to being efficient and effective in providing treatment and services.

I work with #WarriorHealers who feel a lot and do a lot, much like myself. We know this detachment reflex well. Sometimes it manifests as dark humour; at other times, as a resolute facial expression hiding a heart swollen with feeling. Sometimes, it’s too much and we have to take time out.

But one thing I don’t accept is the label: “compassion fatigue”. 

[Read on or watch the video.]

https://youtu.be/yACtKL-gGgg

Compassion never fatigues. It’s the lack of boundaries and systems that disrespect the human spirit that are the locus of the problem. Not the compassion.

A review of the research literature on compassion fatigue questions the use of the expression. For one, exceedingly compassionate professionals don’t seem to be at greater risk of this ‘compassion fatigue’. 

Compassion fatigue makes it sound as though there’s something wrong with you or with compassion. When it’s usually a systemic problem or unusual circumstances that cause the overwhelm.

The response isn’t to care less but to include ourselves in the field of compassion we offer others. 

It’s not that the compassion has run out, it’s that we haven’t received enough ourselves.

But why does that happen?

Internalised messages from toxic systems block the natural inclusion of ourselves and cut us off from our field of compassion. It’s my contention that  this is the crux of the problem, not compassion itself.

Compassion is a compass for purpose – not a liability. It has its own wisdom and tells us two things:

1) Where there is need – a felt sense

2) What could be done about it (or not) – an altruistic pragmatism

Through experience and coaching mission-driven professionals and leaders, I’ve found that without these two abilities, it’s difficult to navigate a career. Without compassion, it’s almost impossible to sense what is needed in the world and what role to play.

Without the ability to feel, the mind defaults to thinking, goals and research. It’s easy to get increasingly lost and confused searching for a ‘purpose’ out there rather than in here.

That’s why when I coach visionary empaths who feel a lot and do a lot, the process will always involve dropping out of mental noise and into their naturally embodied wisdom. 

The journey inevitable leads to an encounter with all sorts of demons in the form of limiting beliefs and toxic assumptions cemented over a lifetime. 

But it can be done.

Legend in the making: E, a member of Presence Power possibility was all but ready to  give up on a sense of joyful purpose in her career developing cutting-edge educational platforms, when we met. But pretty quickly, we homed in on a key limiting assumption that helped her reconnect with her deeper sense of self. This enabled her to reinvent a key relationship that was troubling her and set boundaries with a work context that was draining her. Almost overnight, an unstoppable surge of loving energy was unleashed and in a short amount of time she left a leadership role, created a new one that’s more aligned with her values, found a new home and set up a long term passion project inspired by her son. She wasn’t suffering from compassion fatigue. She just needed to see beyond the limiting environment and assumptions that blinded her to her natural power and wisdom. But we dealt those limitations a swift blow. In her own words: “Things that seemed impossible are happening naturally. I feel I’ve reconnected with who I really am.”

In Buddhist psychology, compassion is defined as the trembling of the heart when it meets someone else’s suffering. A standard definition of compassion in Western psychology is "a sensitivity to suffering in self and others with a commitment to try to alleviate and prevent it."

The ancient goddess, Green Tara, sits on my desk smiling as the sun soaks the room. She represents the wisdom of compassion perfectly: her palm is open in generosity and her foot is extended ready to step in and give aid if needed. 

I notice the white and purple orchid next to her, offering itself up so innocently and fully to the world. My mind wanders to hospitals, earthquakes and children and I wonder how it can all co-exist. 

Then I remember: the heart can hold it all but it’s not all mine to solve. Wisdom will guide me as to what’s mine to do.  

And remember to include yourself in your own field of compassion.

Amina

p.s. Want to expand your sense of purpose as you navigate your career and make a difference in the world? Only a week until the next Leaders Circle: Falling Upward on the 31st of March. Learn more and sign up here:

Register for the Leaders Circle: Falling Upward.

https://www.eventbrite.co.uk/e/the-leaders-circle-falling-upward-tickets-145429636959