Wise Wednesdays

  Should you push yourself (or let go)? [Wise Wednesdays #355] I believe Bruce Lee definitively settled this question: "Be like water”, reviving the Eastern philosophy idea found in Taoism and Buddhism idea of the Middle Way - not forcing, not stopping when faced with a challenge. Bruce Lee often used water as a metaphor for adaptability, flexibility, and the flowing nature of life and combat. He emphasised the idea that one must adapt to situations fluidly, without resistance or rigidity. Whether to push yourself or let go is a question that often comes up for high achievers close to burnout or recovering from it. It also arises after a setback when fear of failure creates self-doubt. And finally if you’re caught in the semi-comfort of the success trap. But the answer isn’t binary. It involves going deeper into your psychology to reveal the Middle Way. The architecture of your motivation Your motivation and impulses are rooted in your psychological architecture. Change the archit...

 It was actually a drunken soldier carrying an AK-47. The nurse and I left our village base in South Sudan to take a walk in the bush, and a soldier walked up to us out of nowhere and started shouting at me in Dinka while waving his rifle in an alarming manner. We stood there very still, assessing our options. I remember the nurse looking at me, and I stayed very calm and breathed, trying to show we were friendly, during a few very tense moments. He eventually got bored since we weren’t reacting and walked on. It wasn’t the first time. This kind of thing happened on humanitarian missions, and some MSF (Médecins Sans Frontières) colleagues were kidnapped or killed. Your life could change in an instant in a volatile environment like South Sudan at the time. But the feedback I got was that I was calm in a crisis. I put it down to the practice of presence. When an emergency arose, my mind became very focused and clear and I knew what to do (and what not to do). [Photo: The main road in...

  5 types of supportive conversation [Wise Wednesday] Hi {$name} , It's Wise Wednesday #353! Effective conversations are crucial in our fast-paced, complex, globalised world. Coaching skills are becoming increasingly important, especially compared to traditional command-and-control, directive skills. Our first response to a problem is often to offer advice, but that doesn’t always help. Next time someone from your team or network approaches you with a problem, pause for a moment. Before jumping in, put the ball back in their court and ask: How can I support you best? You can offer them a couple of options from the five below: Listening:  For someone who just needs to vent or clear their thoughts and calm their emotions. Offer space and the luxury of non-interruption. E.g. ‘I just got fired’. Reflections (Empathy):  For someone who needs to feel a sense of shared reality and remember they’re not alone. Reflect back what you hear with a soothing, calm voice so they know you...