Wise Wednesdays

  During the pandemic, I used to have a calendar slot at the weekend called: Declutter.As I let go of certain projects, I had bandwidth to prioritise and focus better and eventually had room for new things. For example, I stopped a weekly circling session and started an african drumming class, but maintained and deepened the circling practice by joining a 6-month programme. This had positive ripple effect personally and professionally. As life changes, our relationship ends with certain things (projects, roles, identities, habits, places, people), others deepen, and new ones begin. With space, we can focus more effectively on what’s most important in this season of life. There's no such thing as time management, it's choice management. A tool that clients have found very helpful to make conscious choices is: "Stop, Start, Maintain”. Here are some ideas of how you can apply it, especially if you’re a high achiever who tends to be overly responsible: [Read on or watch the v...

 I’ve had a few coaching conversations recently about what to do when you have a great job and life but want more and can’t put your finger on what it is you want. This situation (The Success Trap) can bring guilt, fear, and confusion, especially if you’ve always had clear goals. But what brought your current success is not the way to your future success. You see, if you’re a high achiever, you’ll tend to rely a little too much on your gifts to face uncertainty. This includes using your intellect and problem-solving abilities (been there, done that, and wrote a book about the Success Trap to save you the trouble). To know what you want, you have to tune into something very basic but often overlooked: your desire-impulses. Once the societal script and cultural expectations no longer appeal to you, you have to go within to find out what it is that you truly want. This is where a little exercise I’ve put together might help to reveal your deepest desires for the next stage of your lif...

  It’s not bragging if you’ve done it. That’s what my coach Rich Litvin used to say to me.   I came across a message from a well-respected corporate communication expert. She shared that she had changed her mind about this. A few years ago, she believed that hard work always shows in the end. But recently she started advising people to speak up and ensure their work is recognised. RELEVANCE ENACTION   As a coach, I believe there are trends and tendencies but no one size fits all answer.   You have to understand 3 things about your context: 1) the rules of your environment; 2) your personality or beliefs; 3) your goals.   Cognitive scientists call this Relevance Realisation and Behavioural Adaptation . I like to combine these in one and call it: Relevance Enaction.   Whatever approach you take, there will be consequences. Whether you choose to conform or rebel, there are impacts on you, your career and others.   So no one can tell you exactly what to d...

 There’s purpose with a big P and little p. Big P purpose? You’re here as a unique expression of conscious life. No one knows, how it happened or where it came from. But here we are. Little p purpose? You’re unique. Once you’re gone, your unique set of notes will never be played again in the great symphony of life in this universe! High achievers and game changers are more prone to wanting to know their purpose. That’s an advantage and a disadvantage. But let’s go along with it. If you’re in an exploration about your purpose and feeling stuck, try this process: Step 1: What brings you sadness and anger in your life/the world? What brings you hope and joy? Write it down or visualise it. Step 2: What do you really want right now? What must you do before you die? Write it down or visualise it. Step 3: What are the pros and cons of putting time and energy into the above? Write 2 columns. Step 4: Now let it all go. Step 5: Go for a walk, listen to music, garden, or meditate. Let your mi...