Wise Wednesdays

Well, it’s definitely autumn in the UK. As the leaves turn orange signalling the passage of time, the last of the warm sunny days are a reminder of the wonderful summers yet to come and the beauty present in any moment. A question that often comes up in career and life transitions is how to deal with the discomfort of not knowing what’s going to happen. There’s a sense of not having any ground beneath our feet or supports to hold on to.  * It’s easy to feel buffeted by the winds of change and recoil at levels of emotional chaos we never knew were possible…One day you’re on top of the world and the next you feel like it’s game over. Our mammalian-reptilian brain doesn’t like this sort of discomfort. No, it likes comfort, predictability, certainty.  Most people will try to avoid the discomfort and look for relief or distracting pleasure in whatever alternative is available. * Of course, joy is essential to living. But the truth is that u...

Last week, I said goodbye to two things I really care about and had put a lot of effort into over the past two years. One of them was the Royal Society of Arts (RSA) Coaching Network, which has grown to over 200 members since I founded it in 2016 and is currently run by a pro-active committee of seven fantastic coaches. The RSA means a lot to me because it offered a landing pad when I flew out of the nest of my 13 year career in the UK National Health Service.  It felt good to join an organisation whose flagship programme was the Reinvention of Work, not to mention its commitment to and track record in driving social progress forward in the UK.  From transforming education and public services to sustainability and international development, thought leaders like Simon Sinek and ordinary folk who want to change the world have a platform and incubator in the RSA. It was quite a journey from humble beginnings as solo founding Fellow to building a steering gro...

Ever heard of the “No man” or the “No woman”? Probably, not. But you’ve heard of the “Yes man”. You’ve probably also heard of the “doormat”, the “busy bee” and the “headless chicken”. Most people in western culture feel like there aren’t enough hours in the day and live with a sense of overwhelm on a consistent basis. We deprive ourselves of needed time and personal space to make ourselves available to others and to opportunities in fear of missing out or seeming selfish. So your schedule feels bloated with no room to breathe whilst also feeling like you can’t get out of it - a vicious cycle. But it doesn’t have to be that way. You can have authentic success, be productive, appreciated and well respected whilst maintaining healthy boundaries and control over how you spend your time and energy. In fact you’re more likely to achieve those things if you do that. Legend in the making: Dr B illustrates this quasi-magical effect. She stopped acquiescing indi...

Do you feel like you’re working hard but spinning your wheels? Or that the tasks you’re carrying out day-in and day-out are meaningless, boring or frustrating? It might be time to step back and get out of the engrenage of the “busy-bee” mentality. You know what it’s like…You’re caught in a cycle of doing the things you “have to” do before you can get to the thing you really want to do.  You’ll get to the thing you really want after you’ve done all the other things you “have to” do like have enough money, status or security of some kind. This mentality is not serving you (although it is serving someone, somewhere…probably someone with more money and power than you. And that isn’t right). But deep inside, you have an inkling that there may be more to life.  You know that you feel a deep satisfaction in helping others (whilst also enabling yourself to be fulfilled and truly successful in work, finances and relationships).  Fulfilment com...