Wise Wednesdays

Why does this keep happening to me?... Have you ever asked yourself that question? Perhaps around a situation at work or in relationships: you keep finding yourself in situations with people who don’t value you or where you over-give and overlook your own needs. You may change jobs, relationships or circumstances but somehow the pattern repeats itself… Understanding the mechanics behind this kind of experience is wonderfully liberating; and the good news is, it’s available to you in an instant. HUNGRY GHOSTS If you feel that you are trapped somehow but can’t quite see the prison bars that cage you, looking inside can give you the key to your freedom and fulfilment. The prison may look like the endless need for external validation and approval. A trap for your energy and a hole that can never be filled – a hungry ghost. As a high-achiever, you are likely to have to battle this demon at one point or another if you are to live a full life, here a...

Ever felt like there is something missing or that a part of you has been left behind as you progressed in life? You can sometimes reach a cherished goal in your life or career only to unearth a nagging feeling that it’s not quite the end of all striving... This is in fact a good sign. It suggests the empire builder/evolutionary impulse/life force is very much alive and kicking in you. It’s nudging you towards the next stage of your life and learning. However, this sense of something missing can result in confusion. You’re not quite sure why life isn’t perfect yet. The sense that there is something wrong can easily translate into a sense that there is something wrong with you/people around you/the world. Tap into your metacognition and self-talk That’s why it’s important to tune into your metacognition to detach from the emotions and confusion. It’s important that you learn to talk to yourself in the right way. Plenty of evidence exists on how positive self-talk i...

Have you ever grappled with a dilemma and had the sense that there is no right answer? Perhaps you’re grappling with one now. The pros and cons seem to balance out and no matter how much you think about it or how many people you ask for advice, the answer eludes you and you can’t get that sense of certainty to guide you towards a particular option?... Similarly, do you remember a time when you were 100% clear about a decision? Perhaps you were completely psyched. You knew which direction you were going in and, even if you anticipated obstacles or were anxious about certain elements, there was no way you weren’t going to go ahead with your decision? What a great feeling! The difference between two states comes down to one big thing: the way our attention is directed or your focus (and yes, meditation is a great practice). We think that there is a perfect computation of all the variables that will lead to the perfect answer but there isn’t. ...

Finding the right balance between our needs and those of others is a continuous process of learning. Depending on culture, gender, age, personality and so on we may be inclined to favour one over the other. However, more likely than not, you have been the beneficiary of someone else’s kindness, generosity or desire to give back without any expectation from you. As far as human evolution is concerned, these are truly transformational acts. They tap into our higher faculties of compassion and empathy that lie beyond the reactive conditioning from which we operate by default. An interesting scene in The Tree of Life movie depicts an evolutionary step in our cognition when a dinosaur decides not to kill a wounded animal: the first act of compassion... Once you are on the path to creating your ideal career, implementing the principle of interdependence would require that you share of the social and professional capital that you are building up with others w...